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It's gonna be so big lor

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The site is up! Dec. 15th, 2006 @ 09:25 am
Please support!

www.morganjewellery.blogspot.com

The jewellery are beautiful, and would go really well with your festive clothes. If you have clothes you find to be too plain, we have the solution for you too! Check it out!

Thankie,
Sher

Am I angry? Dec. 6th, 2006 @ 09:16 am
Yes.

For you, now I will privatise the entries you shouldn't have read. I considered the possibility that you could be reading my blog without me knowing, and I should have trusted my instincts. So thanks for your reminder that my blog is on public domain, and since you don't seem to find it intrusive, i will take my leave.

Now you know my inner thoughts, there is no need for me to say more.

So stop asking me how are things between him and i, cos you know better already. Why pretend that you don't. And yes, that's the last straw. I wanted to remember us as special and beautiful, but you're killing it.

Don't bother calling me. I won't pick up anymore.

For those who would like to know my new addy, pls email me at sherylclaire@gmail.com. Otherwise, I'll just assume you don't wanna know.

DEPRESSED Nov. 28th, 2006 @ 12:48 pm
I IS VERY DEPRESSED

I SPENT THE LAST 2 HOURS TYPING AN ENTRY, NOW ITS ALL GONE.

Por por happy birthday Nov. 25th, 2006 @ 12:55 pm
Stealing some pics of my grandma's party. Enjoy!



After she makes the wish....



My family



My granny's last and tenth sister with her husband who doesn't respond when i call him.



Jan and por por.



Jan and Fang!



On my hard sofa



The IJ girls and Cat High boys.



The photo I asked Jan to delete.



The gangster doing what she does best.

Was quite a crappy party by many standards, but lets just do better next year.

Date Jun. 21st, 2006 @ 12:48 pm
It's been a rather tiring half-week. Trying to do my nightly grading and having 4 classes this week.

I am currently working on an old song. Hopefully it turns out better.

Yday after class, he asked me if i wanted to go shopping. So I met him at bugis, thinking its a good place to shop. When I got there (after making him wait for an hour), I chose to eat at Sakae. We ate till we were too full. As usual, he made me laugh all the way through.

After that we checked out the Edge, which was disappointing as usual. Then we walked out of Bugis itself and went to Fu Lu Shou there, to find the pasar malam closing. There was a stall left selling Magic VCDs. Fascinating. We bought 3 and my love is going to be a magician.

I wanted to bring him to a dessert stall, so we went to Liang Seah Street. The selection turned out to be quite limited, so we just had drinks. And continued laughing.

He asked me...

"Do we have a future together?" (Actually I can't rem the question)

"DO YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T ASK PPLE QUESTIONS LIKE THAT???"

"WILL YOU MARRY-NATE ME?"

So we went home after that to watch our magic vcds.

This is one man I really really love. Something I've come to realise. It just keeps coming back and I keep knowing it again and again. Not in the fluttery way, though I do feel excited everytime I'm about to see him even if it's for the Nth time that day. But it's the deep knowing that I us to be together for a long time.



Other entries
» tag tag
Instruction: Name 20! people you can think of at the top of your head. Don't read the questions before you write and tag 5 people to do the survey.
Which of coz I would expect them not to follow suit unless they wanna humor me... ^_~
1. Daz
2. Jan
3. Stef
4. Fiona
5. Lian
6. Audrey
7. Fang
8. Gillian
9. Jules
10. Raine
11. Eugene
12. Kimmy
13. Orgaz
14. Hafidz
15. Hui Ping
16. Renesh
17. Beng
18. Douglas
19. Eric
20. Leslie
21. Adrian

here's the Questions:

1. How did you meet number 14?
RP, fellow colleague

2. What would you do if you had never met number 1?
then...i really wont be who I am today

3. what would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
He's really academic and she's your hardworking legal babe. BUT they are both Catholic. Can be tried out.

4. would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
There are a few common points la, like they both can spew hokkien and she is lian.hehhe

5. describe No.3
Beautiful. A best friend who's been there for the best part of the last 8 years.

6. Do You think No.8 is attractive?
I haven't met any guy who's seen her and not fall for her immediately. Except maybe my exes, who probably kept their feelings for her from me...haha. She's really pretty and really got a great personality. Somemore she's intelligent. Where to find?

7. Tell me something about No.7
A good friend, whos dedicated to teaching art. She's also got a very good heart.

8. Do you know anything about No.12's family?
His family's huge.

9. What is No.18's favourite?
ohgenki

10. What would you do if No.11 confesses that he/she likes you?
I would totally fall off my chair and then faint.

11. What language does 15 speak?
English, Chinese, Hokkien.

12. Who is No.9 going out with?
*__*

13. How old is No.16 now?
Renesh? 28/29.

14. When is the last time you talked to No.13?
Last friday at zouk and bkt.

15. Who is No.2 favourite singer?
Josh Groban

16. Would you date No.4?
No, her bf would prob beat me up.

17. Would you date No.7?
I am very straight! But she was my laogong.....so hmmm....

18. Is No.15 single?
yup

19. What's No.10 last name?
LIM

20. Would you ever consider being in a relationship with No. 19?
hahahahahahahahahahhahhahhahaha. No. He's a great guy, but I'm too attached.

21. What school does No.3 goes?
Henry Park, IJ, SA, NTU

22. Where does No.6 lives?
bt panjang

23. What is your favourite thing about No.5?
her loyalty to friends
» I'll learn
My whole room in dark now, cept for the laptop light. Its 302am, and I just got back about half an hour ago from drinking with my dad.

I was out for dinner with Jan and Eric, when he called and asked if I wanted to meet up. For some reason, I agreed.

You know, I don't really know of to make sense of our relationship. Things fuck up, I get upset, he gets sick, I forget/I forgive, and things go back to normal.

Before I entered the pub, I was close to tears, cos I almost couldn't take the pressure in my heart. Something very heavy sits inside of me, telling me this can't go on.

2 days ago, he got into some trouble and needed bailing out. I knew a little too late, so I didn't have to go save him. He tried to get me but he couldn't. So technically, he getting into trouble does not trouble us at all. But the problem was, I got to hear scraps of what the problem might be. And tallying that with what he told me, I'm 99% convinced that he lied to me.

Now, if you think about it, its his right to lie. He has every right to say anything to anyone, whether or not we are blood related. If he doesn't want me to know, that should be okay. But when he lies, it brings back to memory every single lie I can remember and I hate that feeling. I feel inflicted all over again, and oh the pain.

I told my mum online, that he's like the haunting ghost of my life. My mum said that I'll have to live with it for as long as he lives. I contemplated going all the way out to find the truth, just so that I could prove he had lied to me. Something I had not been able to prove all my life.

I don't know. Everytime I come to the realisation that he has always been lying to me, I don't know what could be the truth anymore. A person whose life is made up of untruths. And because of him, I lead a life of untruth too. I told my mum that I can't help but care for him, and she questioned me, "even if he never cared for you?"

Unfortunately, yes. God made me so.

So anyway, the cycle starts again and then I was sure that I wanted him out of my life. So just be cordial and don't pick up his calls.

But I still did.

So after all the emotional turmoil I put myself through outside the pub, I entered and started talking to him like nothing happened. I listened more than I spoke, and at some point I felt perhaps this is the best I can do.

What's the point of ultimatums? We've had one before, we're sobbed and we've made up. And life goes back to square one. How many more can we have? Maybe its better to bury it all and pretend.

Pretend he's just a friend, not a father, then all the emotional pressures will go away.

Accepting that the part of my life that has him in it will be inflict-ful, and that he as my father will always be like that. Knowing that this is him. It's not like he's going through some phase in life. Or that he can become someone else I'll be proud to acknowledge. This is him, no matter from which angle you look. Just like he has no say in my life, I have no say in his.

If I can swallow that all in, the world can be a better place.

You know how they say that the sg gov is very smart? They don't ever push the people to such a corner that they rebel? They know the limit and never go beyond the line? It feels rather similar. It's like almost unbearable, then it gets somewhat better. That's how its like with him.

Most times, I wished I could control the amount of emotions I show on my face.
» I'll learn
My whole room in dark now, cept for the laptop light. Its 302am, and I just got back about half an hour ago from drinking with my dad.

I was out for dinner with Jan and Eric, when he called and asked if I wanted to meet up. For some reason, I agreed.

You know, I don't really know of to make sense of our relationship. Things fuck up, I get upset, he gets sick, I forget/I forgive, and things go back to normal.

Before I entered the pub, I was close to tears, cos I almost couldn't take the pressure in my heart. Something very heavy sits inside of me, telling me this can't go on.

2 days ago, he got into some trouble and needed bailing out. I knew a little too late, so I didn't have to go save him. He tried to get me but he couldn't. So technically, he getting into trouble does not trouble us at all. But the problem was, I got to hear scraps of what the problem might be. And tallying that with what he told me, I'm 99% convinced that he lied to me.

Now, if you think about it, its his right to lie. He has every right to say anything to anyone, whether or not we are blood related. If he doesn't want me to know, that should be okay. But when he lies, it brings back to memory every single lie I can remember and I hate that feeling. I feel inflicted all over again, and oh the pain.

I told my mum online, that he's like the haunting ghost of my life. My mum said that I'll have to live with it for as long as I lived. I contemplated going all the way out to find the truth, just so that I could prove he had lied to me. Something I had not been able to prove all my life.

I don't know. Everytime I come to the realisation that he has always been lying to me, I don't know what could be the truth anymore. A person whose life is made up of untruths. And because of him, I lead a life of untruth too. I told my mum that I can't help but care for him, and she questioned me, "even if he never cared for you?"

Unfortunately, yes. God made me so.

So anyway, the cycle starts again and then I was sure that I wanted him out of my life. So just be cordial and don't pick up his calls.

But I still did.

So after all the emotional turmoil I put myself through outside the pub, I entered and started talking to him like nothing happened. I listened more than I spoke, and at some point I felt perhaps this is the best I can do.

What's the point of ultimatums? We've had one before, we're sobbed and we've made up. And life goes back to square one. How many more can we have? Maybe its better to bury it all and pretend.

Pretend he's just a friend, not a father, then all the emotional pressures will go away.

Accepting that the part of my life that has him in it will be inflict-ful, and that he as my father will always be like that. Knowing that this is him. It's not like he's going through some phase in life. Or that he can become someone else I'll be proud to acknowledge. This is him, no matter from which angle you look. Just like he has no say in my life, I have no say in his.

If I can swallow that all in, the world can be a better place.

You know how they say that the sg gov is very smart? They don't ever push the people to such a corner that they rebel? They know the limit and never go beyond the line? It feels rather similar. It's like almost unbearable, then it gets somewhat better. That's how its like with him.

Most times, I wished I could control the amount of emotions I show on my face.
» *blink*
silence engulf me, sadly.
» in between spicy malay food
Last night I caught Da Vinci with the boyfriend. He's a fan, critically analysing how the movie lacks so much of details, as with other novels turn movies. Watching it was almost scary, cos of the ideas they try to bring across to the masses.

One of the things you deal with as a grown up, is yourself. How you think, what you think, why you think what you think and how you think? I was also thinking what certain friends of mine would say after watching the show.

Are facts important? What is faith?

Let me mull over it.

Anyway, for those of you who know that my name actually appeared on a relatively famous blog in Singapore, hehe, looks like I've picked the right blog. It's not the first we've been talked about, but its one of the better ones so far.

http://blinkymummy.blogspot.com/2006/05/blind-date-with-petvalleysg-chick.html

http://miyagi.sg/?p=1095

Last few weeks, I was working pretty hard. I'll survive, because not surviving is like the easy way out.

Recently, I had 2 personal offers to pretty much jump to other startups. I was told stuff like I have the PR skills that can help them, experience in the exact area they need, probably can give the established dos in the industry a run for HER money, cos i'm female I'll do better, etc.

I'm honestly flattered.

But other than having a slightly inflated ego, the first reaction was, NO.

In short, I had to think about the possibility of leaving my partner behind for pastures that may or may not be greener. I thought I was being emotional, not having much time to think about it, but then on hindsight, I was glad I could make that integrity decision.

I can't find it in myself to do anything backstabbing. Simply cos i dun wan someone else to do it back to me. Maybe akin to having a boyfriend. If you're pretty happy with the relationship (com'on, which relationship is perfect?), but someone whos damn yandao comes along, do u just hop along to the next? Yandao can be very terok inside also wad.

Besides, I don't really like the yandao kind.

While sticking to my decision, I looked back on the year of being in biz with my partner and how much we had sacrificed together, i know that i didnt make the wrong decision.
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